I vividly recall the day I walked out of the tattoo parlor with an arm tattoo. And I will admit, it felt strange knowing that for the rest of my life I would adorn a message on my skin that bears so much meaning to me. I felt like I had become a different person, and the truth is I have. However, it was not the tattoo that changed me. Instead, the ink on my skin was merely a milestone along the journey of change. Here’s a brief look at what brought me to that milestone.
In the early summer of 2021, after hearing stories of celebrities smoking the venom of a toad which causes a hallucination and experience where people felt “one with the Creator” and all anxiety and fear fled them, I prayed and asked God to either find a way for me to smoke that venom (it is illegal) or create the same experience for me. Days later, I had a dream where I was transcending my physical self, shedding my human form, and manifesting into a being of light. I was disconnected from everything around me and ascended into a plane of nature and paradise that reminded me of the Garden of Eden. I was around a rich canopy forest with striking lush greenery. I felt a cool breeze of wind and the real sensation of grass tickling the soles of my feet as I carried each stride across a field. There seemed to be a Holy presence in the microscopic elements from the dust in the wind to the leaves in the trees. And then, I found myself having a conversation with God about life and guilt.
He reminded me that we would meet again, but not on this Earth and not with my mortal shell. He clearly told me that my biggest regret at that moment would be failing to realize how easy it would have been to honor and worship Him instead of conforming to Man’s shallow interpretation of glory and pleasures. He let me realize that there’s more to this life than the titles of “top sales representative” or “young female entrepreneur”. Spreading the Good Word of our Lord was a bigger and more fulfilling plan for me. He helped me understand how simple and easy it is to honor Him in lieu of fighting for Man’s approval of me, my image, and my success, and letting the world dictate my worth. Something I was fighting for more than Him.
I woke up from this dream as if my soul was cleansed. I was recentered and started to understand what my new mission was. I knew I had to stay centered on Him and put His will above my own. My milestones had to be aligned with what God put me on the planet for. Instead of carrying the weight of my business and my family, I surrendered my burdens at the foot of the cross and understood what God’s purpose for me was.
I had a choice; to continue being a slave to my business and ambitions or continue along my path to serve God.
Weeks later, in Q3 2021, I began to feel under pressure. I felt as if I were drowning in my own company. Unfortunately, I also had some downfalls which followed a storm of personal breakdowns. Most prominently, a devastating emotional breakdown at the resort pool in Disneyland that October. The road to recovery was hard. As I slowly got back on my feet, I was fortunate to be a part of a CEO group, and in January 2022, there was a presentation and one of the speaker’s first slides caught my attention, and I felt a resurgence from the dream that I had six months ago.
The slide said, “At the end of your life if you get to meet the person you get to become, are you going to be looking in a mirror or seeing someone completely different?” This quote resonated with me. I felt God’s presence and knew He was speaking to me, yet again. This time, I couldn’t ignore His message.
"Be Who You Could Have Become"
“Be who you could have become” is what I have tattooed down my arm … and the message is etched indelibly on my soul as it is on my skin. It reminds me that I cannot fear Man. As a broken sinner, the Lord Himself is enough to guide me in all the facets of my life and be my Shepherd. I have surrendered my Earthly ambitions to be a partaker in the grace of God’s will. It reminds me that I’m for Him and when I see Him again, I’ll tell Him that He was right all along.
To God be the glory - and I am on a mission to spread the good news of the gospel to the ends of the earth. While being a wife, mom, and business executive. May you experience His love and light through me and give me grace on the days I falter. This is not going to be easy but it will be worth it.
This tattoo on my arm is not just ink on my skin; it's a symbol of my journey of faith, surrender, and transformation. It serves as a constant reminder to put God's will above all else and to be the person He intended me to become. My hope is that my story inspires you to seek your own path of purpose and faith and to remember that with God, all things are possible.